Growing up we didn’t talk about sex.
Self-pleasure was not a thing in my household.
I spent most of my adult life (even while married) embarrassed and ashamed of my desire for sex and for pleasure, somehow it just felt wrong.
Sex, I was taught, was a necessary evil. Something women did for their husbands once they were married. I took it one step further and decided that it was something I needed to do to get someone to love me, to want to marry me. I became good at it, for them, but not for me.
Many things have changed over the years. I still wrestle with guilt and shame but they only show up occasionally now and when they do I recognize them as an old story and release them as quickly as they come.
Tonight, I was in Target, in the health and beauty section. As I perused the aisles I noticed a section I would never expect to find, a section dedicated to pleasure. And it was full of a variety of vibrators, lubricants and toys to enhance one’s pleasure, coupled or alone....
Last night I had a dream. I was in a room full of people, a conference perhaps? I was with friends, a group of about 10, some couples, some singles, men and women.
We were asked to strip down naked and stand before the room.
The audience was instructed to look and to only give positive, encouraging feedback. No criticism, no advice, no judgment, just kind, loving words of affirmation.
Oddly, I was ok with this. Awkward as it felt, and as afraid as I was, there was a sense of acceptance that I desired more than the perceived safety of not doing it, of not allowing myself to be seen.
Truth is, not one of those bodies was perfect, none of us were 22 anymore.
One by one we all removed our clothing and slowly moved individually to the front of the room. The fear was palpable. Each person ready for an onslaught of judgment, ready to be laughed at, criticized, made fun of.
I decided to embrace the opportunity to stand before all, naked, exposed, vulnerable, and real. A deep knowing settled...
Have you ever had a conversation that gently pulls out your truth and encourages you to claim it?
That just happened to me. I got super vulnerable, saying something out loud that I had been afraid to even think, let alone speak.
I told her, I feel the desire to date men AND women.
I am a part of her Feminine Embodiment class and last night, she led us through a powerful journaling and then embodiment practice that brought this up for me.
Here is what I wrote:
I’d like to explore relationships with men and women. Not necessarily se^ually but more intimate than friendship. I’m not feeling that I am attracted to women – it’s that I want a masculine man in touch enough with his feminine to nurture.
She helped me to see something so clearly that I was unable to see before.
I have a mother wound.
Stick with me…
I was adopted. My birth mother hid my pregnancy from her family. No one knew.
There is an energy around that. Of course, I don’t know for sure,...
A love coach? My mind kicked into high gear at the mention of this.
I was sitting with my first-ever coach. She asked me to tell her about me.
My life, my journey.
At the time, I’d been coaching beauty professionals on the business side of the industry. I had a coaching center. I had 4 daughters I was raising as a single mom.
But I didn’t talk about that.
Instead, I heard myself telling her about my love life. My history. Times my heart was broken and how I had been betrayed, how my last marriage was toxic and I didn’t know how this had happened to me again.
I talked about being single, wanting forever love, needing forever love.
It was all about love.
Every. Single. Word.
She was not a love coach. She was a business coach.
She was kind, she had compassion. AND she told me that I needed to switch gears and coach about love.
I had just told her about my failures in love. How did she expect me to coach about love?
Then, she said something then that I will...
Talking to the moon, trying to get to you… in hopes you’re on the other side, talking to me too…
These are the lyrics to a beautiful song I heard for the first time yesterday. It is called “Talking to the Moon” listen when you can.
Grief lingers, it is not a once and done, and yet, through it all, there is beauty from the ashes. Freedom through the pain.
When we lose someone close to us, there can be a sense of loss so deep we wonder if we will survive. How many times have I called into the night, please help me. Tell me what to do.
Innately well and completely love, we know what to do. The answers we seek are a part of us, even when they aren’t easily found.
Grief ripped me open, my heart, raw and exposed, vulnerable to the world, AND, stronger than ever before.
Grief is teaching me how to love, how to LIVE. Grief has shifted my perspective and allowed me to release the driving force of fear that stood center stage for most my life.
Death - the...
February. The one month a year that we all collectively turn our attention to love, whether we want to or not.
For some, cupid has been kind and we savor every delicious moment, the flowers, candy, gifts and valentines. For others, it is a time of sadness, memories of a lost love, loneliness, heartbreak or just a reminder that we are not a part of a couple.
If you fall into the latter category, I write this for you. Because really, the only ones enjoying this holiday month are the ones celebrating love. So, what if we could ALL celebrate love… All the Time?
I know, it sounds too good to be true. Easier said than done, right? Wrong. It begins with an honest look, and a deep understanding of what love really is. So, take heart friend (pun intended) things are about to get a whole lot better. I’m about to teach you about love, real love, not the manufactured, one month a year let’s shine a light on it...
Undeniably a strong emotion. But is that all?
We use the term "crazy in love" to justify all sorts of behavior, some not so good because the emotion is so strong.
But love is not just an emotion. Love is energy. Love is infinite. Love is one of the highest vibrations in the Universe. And that's not all.
Love is what we are made of. It is the energy from where we come and it is the energy to which we will return.
We are spiritual beings, having a human experience. Love made manifest.
Love is not just something to do or to get, it is something to be.
And once we see that, our lives will never be the same. Once we begin to live that, to show up and be love, well, that is a game-changer.
It took me 55 years to discover that love is my superpower.
For many years, I thought love was something I had to earn, to prove myself worthy of receiving. I did not know that it was my...
Perhaps you haven’t heard the story of the old man and the starfish, or, maybe you have but it’s been a while. Either way, I share it here now as a gentle reminder that sometimes one simple act can make all the difference.
When you are struggling with regards to your love life… in any capacity, a fight with your spouse, toxic cycles repeating, a recent breakup, the loneliness of being single, it can impact every single area of your life.
Sometimes, I feel a bit overwhelmed with my desire to share my knowledge of love with the world. How will I reach and help so many people? Really teach about love so that it may transform their relationships with love and truly make a difference? There are so many people suffering, it seems like a daunting task. Then... I remember the starfish, and I keep...
He's gone and you are at a loss. Here are some steps to heal your heart while time and space will help determine whether you want him back, or to let him go.
1. Give it time.
2. Be calm.
3. Be patient.
4. Trust - If you are the one, if the two of you are really meant to be, he will step in by stepping up, instead of stepping out. Period. He will do this on his own, without your prompting, pushing, pursuing or persuading.
5. If he does not step up - Let. Him. Go. You deserve to be with a man that really wants you, respects you, cares about you, cherishes you and protects you, both emotionally and physically. If he does not go the extra mile to protect your heart, then he doesn't deserve it.
6. Know it will hurt - It feels awful, unbelievable actually that the same man who waxed poetic, professed undying love and called you his forever has now gone cold. I could give a list of reasons why he may have...
My very first published article in elephant journal! I can't believe the outpouring of love and support from readers. I wanted to link it here to share it with you. Thank you, thank you for taking the time to read my work. It means the world to me!
February is traditionally the "love" month. Let's make it the best "love" month you've ever had!
Join me for 12 days of Love, together, we will change the way you think about love...forever. Once you see this, you can't un-see it.
Let's re-write your love story.