Uncaged Woman - Unashamed

Growing up we didn’t talk about sex.

Self-pleasure was not a thing in my household.

I spent most of my adult life (even while married) embarrassed and ashamed of my desire for sex and for pleasure, somehow it just felt wrong.

Sex, I was taught, was a necessary evil. Something women did for their husbands once they were married. I took it one step further and decided that it was something I needed to do to get someone to love me, to want to marry me. I became good at it, for them, but not for me.

Many things have changed over the years. I still wrestle with guilt and shame but they only show up occasionally now and when they do I recognize them as an old story and release them as quickly as they come.

Tonight, I was in Target, in the health and beauty section. As I perused the aisles I noticed a section I would never expect to find, a section dedicated to pleasure. And it was full of a variety of vibrators, lubricants and toys to enhance one’s pleasure, coupled or alone.

My mind was blown, and overjoyed.

In my opinion, it is time, well overdue, for us to embrace ourselves as loving, sexual beings and to celebrate it rather than shame it. It is part of who we are and it is about much more than winning a spouse or creating a baby. It is energy, we are energy and when we align this powerful energy without shame and guilt, ecstasy is found.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if self-pleasure could become “normal”, like brushing your hair, putting on lotion, bathing?  Taking care of and loving yourself, instead of the guilt-ridden embarrassed shame so many grew up with. For a moment, I found myself embarrassed to be in that section of the store and then I gently asked myself why?  In that moment, I made a conscious decision to embrace the opportunity to stand unashamed, to look at the products, pick up boxes and finally, proudly walk to the checkout with a few juicy new items.

Don’t be ashamed of loving yourself, of knowing your body and taking good care of it.

This is what Uncaged looks like to me. Authentic, honest, vulnerable, real, and true to me.

Be true to you. 

Welcome, to Uncaged.