Heal your heart... 10 Steps to get your ex back or let him go.

He's gone and you are at a loss.  Here are some steps to heal your heart while time and space will help determine whether you want him back, or to let him go.

1.  Give it time.

2.  Be calm.

3.  Be patient.

4.  Trust - If you are the one, if the two of you are really meant to be, he will step in by stepping up, instead of stepping out.  Period.  He will do this on his own, without your prompting, pushing, pursuing or persuading.  

5.  If he does not step up - Let. Him. Go.  You deserve to be with a man that really wants you, respects you, cares about you, cherishes you and protects you, both emotionally and physically.  If he does not go the extra mile to protect your heart, then he doesn't deserve it.

6.  Know it will hurt - It feels awful, unbelievable actually that the same man who waxed poetic, professed undying love and called you his forever has now gone cold.  I could give a list of reasons why he may have left, or suddenly gone cold...but really, why simply doesn't matter.  If he did, he did.  And he knew it was really going to hurt you, and he did it anyway.  Remember that when you so desperately want to reach out to him.

7.  Let it hurt - Eventually, it will stop.  And every time you reach out and try to contact him or convince him to come back, it's like starting at ground zero.  

8.  Either - he will realize - On. His. Own. - how much you mean to him, that you are worth the effort, that he does not want to live without you in his life, OR, he will move on.  And if he chooses to move on, then he does not get to have you in his life.  It's his loss!  You deserve so much more.

9.  Time is on your side - Each day, week, month that you don't hear from him is torture.  You don't know how you will survive.  But survive you will, and here's the thing...behind the scenes he is either - Missing you, thinking about you, wondering what happened to you, why he's not hearing from you, what you are doing and figuring out what he is willing to do about it... or... He's moved on, found the rebound and isn't worried about your precious heart.  In this case, why why why would you want him?

10.  Become the fierce warrior of love that protects your own heart first.  Yes, it's wonderful and amazing to love so hard that you'd do anything for your person.  In fact, the one who ultimately wins you will be incredibly lucky to have such a fierce, loyal protector of their heart.  But in order to find the one deserving of your love and protection, you need to become that for yourself, for your heart, because once you do you will never expose your heart to someone who is so careless with it again.