The love we seek is not something we get from "out there". It is truly an inside job.
Love. We all want it, no, we all crave it. We are hard-wired for it. In fact, I'm going to go as far as to say, we are love.
When I was about 20 I was first introduced to the work of Wayne Dyer. In one of his books, he spoke of us as "Spiritual Beings having a Human Experience." Instantly, along with the head to toe goosebumps, I somehow knew this to be true.
Love is the highest vibration in the universe. We are this same energy made manifest, spiritual beings having a human experience. This is why babies are born innately well, whole, and joyful. Look closely into a babies eyes, they are pure love. It's like looking at a mirror of our soul. Michael Neill points this out perfectly when he says "babies don't need therapy." True.
It is most often at the hands of well-meaning adults that we begin to experience love from the outside and forget or lose touch with the love inside. We learn that we must do something to win favor, make someone happy and ultimately, make them love us. Slowly, the memory and knowledge of who/what we really are slips away.
It's at this point that we are most vulnerable, wide open to outside influence and we begin to create the very stories that will become the foundation for our lives. What do we witness, what are we told, what do we experience? Like sponges, we soak it all in and come up with all sorts of ideas that may or may not serve us as we age.
For me, I was adopted. My mother hid my pregnancy and gave me up without anyone in the family knowing. It was 3 full months before I was adopted into my forever home. 3 months. If you are a parent, I don't need to impress upon you the amount of bonding that occurs in those first 3 months.
Because of this, on a very deep level, I have an unreasonable amount of fear around abandonment and rejection, and rather than a fear of bonding, I bond quickly but I don't let go easily, even when I should. For 50 years, the story I created about my very survival being dependant on my being in a relationship and having someone love me, drove me into many toxic unions. Why? Because alone, I did not believe that I would survive. So when someone loved me, I was determined to love them. Even if the love they expressed was about as far from actual love as you can get. It didn't matter, losing them, leaving, breaking up, would fill me an unimaginable fear. When things became unbearable, because given enough time toxic relationships will, I would leave...and immediately find a replacement, based upon the limiting beliefs, stories that were running the show. In my book, I call those limiting beliefs and stories my Significantly Broken Places SBP's. We all have them. Some have enough love and encouragement growing up that they are better equipped as adults to recognize them as stories and let them go. They don't allow them to "call the shots" if you will.
What I didn't realize was that what I was searching for was love, what I was settling for was attention. NOT THE SAME. So let's take a moment and ask a foundational question... What Is Love?
Love is both a noun and a verb. It is the highest vibration in the universe. It is what we are. And it is the choices we make, the actions we take as well. Actions speak louder than words, have you ever heard the words I love you from someone who just hurt you with their actions? That is not love. Love is when our words, our choices and our actions align for the highest good of all. Love is not unconditional...why? Because that would mean that love could ever be conditional, and it cannot. True love is acceptance and it comes from within. It is who we are. It is what the Universe is made of. God is love. To find it, we need to look no further than inside. To experience it, we need to first love ourselves, and we need to begin living our lives Anchored in Love. As in, BEing love. When we do this, all manner or miracles occur.
At 50, I heard a voice say ENOUGH. Enough verbal abuse, enough pain, enough with the impostor love I was settling for. Enough.
For the past several years, I have dedicated my life to learning about love. What is it, who and what am I, how do I attract healthy love, and recognize it so that I am attracted to healthy love and not to the toxic cycles that are just too familiar and mascarade as safe. What do I really want in a relationship? How do I get there?
My Forever is the story of my journey. I share it with you in my blog. I invite you, if you would like to know more if you would like to know me, and if you would like to hear about my forever love story, to join me there. Each week I add more and I would be so honored to share this journey with you because together we are stronger and if my story helps you, then honestly... isn't that what love is really about? Sharing, caring, giving, compassion, forgiveness, kindness, joy, fun, passion, zest for life.
If you are ready for more, to begin living Anchored in Love, to attract your forever love, I invite you to click the tab at the top of this page titled Your Forever. There you will find all the resources available to get you started. It will show you how we can work together and how I can help you step by step, to find the love you so desperately want.
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