“You’re not a writer”.
That statement broke my heart, and felt heavy in my chest. Until I recognized ego and fear, whispering in my ear again, like they often do. In this moment, there is a choice. I can choose to listen to the internal critics, or I can choose to be brave. Today, I choose brave. Sometimes, often times, brave does not come without scary, but being brave means we do them anyway.
I write, therefore I am a writer. I may not be the most polished, or eloquent, but I write because I need to. I feel words bubble up and spill over, into the air or onto the page depending on where I am at the moment. I write because when I think, the words just seem to bounce around, inside my head like an echo, and when I put them on paper I can see them more clearly. Hear them more clearly.
It’s true; I’m only beginning to put my words out there. It remains to be seen how they will be received and I am doing a lot of internal work around what that means to me. How attached am I to the outcome and external approval? There are writing classes in my present and future and in time I will polish the rough edges, but for now I simply listen with my heart and allow the words to flow, telling my stories as they come, risking the critique of both the public and the voices inside of me that whisper, “you are not a writer”.
To me, this is brave. Anytime we risk hurt it is brave. Anytime we honor ourselves by becoming exposed, it is brave. Traditionally we’ve been taught that being brave might include the likes of stepping straight into the path of danger to help another, or skydiving, or standing up for what we believe and not being afraid to tell it like it is. I agree all those things require that we are brave. But sometimes it is subtler. Sometimes just like the whispering critics there is a whisper of strength. Putting yourself out there, exposing yourself to judgment is brave. Risking love again, after having your heart broken is brave. Walking away from things that are unhealthy, that is brave.
Is there something that you have been longing to do but are resisting because you have chosen to listen to ego and fear? It is never too late to make a different choice. To ignore those voices and listen to the quieter, gentler voice of spirit as you are nudged towards what your heart deeply desires.
What gift are you refusing to share with the world? Holding back because it feels too dangerous to share. Raw and much to vulnerable? Too many times, when we finally gather our courage and share our gift, we carefully wrap it in fear, expecting the worst. What would happen if we imagined wrapping our gifts in love and sending them out into the world the way we would a real gift? Without expectation, without anything in return? Simply trusting that your writing, painting, song, talent, whatever would be of benefit, would find just the person that needed it exactly in the moment it was received? How would it feel to be brave, to trust that you were given this gift not by accident, but because your gift could make a difference in someone’s world?
Today, be brave. Step out in faith, wrap your gift in love and share it with the world in a big way. Then smile, laugh and dance, because today, you chose brave.
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